69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
