do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
