I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
