Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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