I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You took a bar mat shot.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize