I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
