Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
