It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
