I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
