You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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