David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
