I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
