i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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