so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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