Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize