No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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