DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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