I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
now i know why i became what i already was.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
