the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
