Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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