..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
