I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
