Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
