I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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