eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
