He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
home. puking in laundry basket.
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im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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