just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
