i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
