why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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