Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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