I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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