you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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