You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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