Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
