After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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