shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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