Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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