This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Less talking, more tequila
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
