I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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