i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
