Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize