I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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