I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize