She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
