i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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