I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
