That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
