If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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