i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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