escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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