i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
