Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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