Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
