She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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