census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize