Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
