i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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