she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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